7.23.21 Jane Doe

Image by Ilona Ilyés from Pixabay

I love water so clear that it can’t hide secrets. Especially the dirty little ones.

You had a dirty little secret once. You buried it in a pool so deep that no one ever saw it despite the water’s clarity. I know, because I was your dirty little secret.  I was your shame.  You told my family that I died when I was powerless to prevent you. Those who knew the truth kept your dirty little secret.  Priests and paladins: liars the lot of them.

 Maybe you thought you were protecting people, that your lies were the right thing to do. But lies and secrets are never right. They hurt. They betray. You hurt and betrayed me. You sacrificed the truth and then you sacrificed me.

But water always gives up its dead, and now your dirty little secret has risen to the surface for all to see. ‘m tired of pretending and I am no longer powerless. I want answers. I want to stand up at your funeral and shout your betrayal for all the world to see. I am no longer powerless, I could do this.

But I won’t.

Vengeance is not mine, you answer to another. Mine is to respond to betrayal with forgiveness, judgment with mercy, and pain with healing. So let my family continue to think me dead. I will sink back into the deep, clear water that has been my home. I will forever remain your dirty little secret.  

Because I love you.